* BA (Open Univ.) PGCE/MA (Cantab)
* People Management Consultant and the Most Noted and Quoted British Expert on the Internet.
"I was married for a very long time - 33 years, in fact. Gradually I realised I really didn't wish to be in that relationship any more. I was constantly depressed, unhappy, feeling pained and most impotent to do anything about it, especially as I grew older and worried about my future.
Fear dominated my actions and, so long as I was unhappy, it was very easy to blame my partner for everything that happened; especially when I expected HIM to change and not me. Then one day I realised that if I didn't do anything, we would simply continue in that negative, miserable manner and I found the courage to leave the marriage. It was the best thing I did.
We often fail to realise that we are on a personal journey of development, discovery and enlightenment. What we wished for in our 20s, while we are immature and striving, would have changed by the time we reach the more mature 30s. To ignore this natural evolution, while we keep stuck unhappily in the same place, is a recipe for disaster. I had to act to realise my own potential and destiny.
This website, my prolific articles and subsequent books, have been created because of that action. They might not have been possible otherwise. Leaving home taught me ONE primary thing: I didn't leave because of my ex-spouse, no matter what he did. I left to discover myself, to develop my potential and to understand who I was and where I was heading. I could not have done it in the marriage because there were too many false assumptions and too much fear on both sides.
The only regrettable casualty has been the reaction of my children. I hope one day they will come to realise that nothing is ever black and white in human terms; that each story has two sides and that I love them dearly and am particularly proud of them and accept them for what they wish to be, completely. That is what love is all about: being unconditional. I hope one day they'll do the same for me.
My store of knowledge has been enhanced, and my work reinforced, by the thousands of emails I have had from readers giving feedback on the articles and websites over the past few years. I feel gratified, I feel alive and, above all, I feel most contented.
I wish you the same, wholeheartedly. Thanks for dropping by to keep my company."
PLEASE NOTE: Elaine cannot answer individual mail due to the amount she receives, unless it is a specially booked service OR a media query.
About Elaine :
Nicknamed Ms CYPRAH (or Cyber-Oprah by friends), Elaine is an accomplished British public speaker, motivator and writer for The Sihera Relationship Guide©, The Sihera Confidence Guide©, Newsvine and Ezine.com. She is the first Black graduate of the UK's pioneering Open University and a postgraduate of Cambridge University.
A former education manager and magazine editor, she is the prolific author of six books and nearly 2000 articles on emotional health, self-empowerment, relationships, career fulfilment and diversity management: for which she made such an impact, she was dubbed "Ms DIVERSITY".
She is also a freelance broadcaster, an Internet agony aunt and the top British columnist on Newsvine, as well as a Change Expert for FiftyForward.com. Being a very keen advocate of changing perceptions on ageing and boosting how people feel about themselves, Elaine enjoys her work very much by living to purpose and in line with her own values.
Her main advice to anyone is:
"Always Be Yourself!! Those who like you will embrace you and nurture you, while those who don't will pass you by and save you the stress!"
She is divorced with two kidults, André (a computer boffin) and Nicole (a psychologist).
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