Articles Index

Articles Index

The 73 articles listed below for easy reference are all on the site.
Just click on any title and it will take you to the topic section.
The LATEST ARTICLES are placed at the top of each category.
Except where stated, all the articles are written by ELAINE SIHERA.

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CATEGORIES

*Shouts of the Week

*Work & Emotional Health

*Confidence & Self-Esteem

*Dating

*Relationships & Interaction

*Ageing Issues

*General Topics

Shouts of The Week (12)

60 Years Old - And Luvvin' It
I was 60 years old in April and it feels fabulous! Yes, you read that correctly. It feels fabulous. In fact I am not only a sensational sixty but I am also sexy, super-duper, seductive and savvy, intent on soaring to new levels of my life.
Should Criticism at Work be Simply Negative?
Q. What do you do when someone criticize you, your work, your behavior and attitude so much so that you feel as if that person is literally tearing you into pieces?
Why Do Some Men Cheat?
Q. Elaine, why do some men cheat when they have a good woman? Surely, such men are no good bastards!
Are New Year's Resolutions Really Important?
Every New Year's day I do my ritual of looking back at the past year to see how many of my resolutions I achieved. This year I counted 8 out of 12, over 66%. Some were not really applicable any more, so my success rate could be interpreted as even better than that. I felt very pleased with myself and have promptly made new resolutions for 2008.
Is it Better to Have Loved Than Not at All?
My best friend, Gwenllian, asked me recently whether there was any truth in Tennyson's famous quote, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I didn't even have to think about that one because the answer was crystal clear: Love conquers all.
Which god punishes someone for naming a toy?
THUMBS DOWN to the Sudanese government for sentencing Gillian Gibbons to 15 days imprisonment for clearly making a mistake in her actions. If a child is called Muhammad, it is natural to assume that this name can apply to a teddy bear, which children love and use to comfort themselves, and be quite appropriate too.
Why Do People Use Stereotypes?
Stereotypes are used to deal with the unknown on a macro level. When we fear anything, we don't understand it, lack information on it or we wish to feel superior to it, we identify observable characteristics of a few representatives (e.g of a group) and apply them to the whole.
Are New Relationships Based on a Lie?
How many of us accept change willingly, or are prepared to compromise in a partnership, unless there is a great deal of personal benefit in it? Not many, it seems.
How Would You Make the World a Better Place?
We have all had this challenge before, improving the state of the world, but the world is so vast that finding something that works for everyone would be overwhelming and very few remedies would have immedate impact. Except a major one, I think
Can Pupils Learn 'Britishness'?
The short answer is: No, they can't. You have to 'feel' something about a country to really appreciate it, and that takes time. One can learn the history of it, learn about the lifestyle, the crime, the values, but one can only appreciate what the country truly represents by being part of it for a while.
How do I Love Myself When I Feel like Crap?
Many people see my constant, happy smile and make instant assumptions about me and my past. However, my childhood was a pretty traumatic one.
Are People Inherently Good?
Yes, people are inherently good because they are programmed to react to love, the greatest influential force in their lives. They seek love, desire it, need it and lavish it on others because love connects them to others. When it is missing from their lives the effects can be catastrophic.

WORK & EMOTIONAL HEALTH (17)

The 3Rs of Personal Success(1): Recognition
A few years ago, I was absent-mindedly watching the regional news on television when I was suddenly rooted to the spot, overcome by feelings of surprise, elation and excitement.
Why a Permanent Job is Bad For You
You're young, keen and 21. You may have just left training college or university. You feel you could rule the world and you have the answers to all the unasked questions.
Why am I Working so Hard Without Proper Rewards?
Elaine, how is it the more I try, the worse it gets? To be happy and carefree seems an impossible request. What say you, oh wise one? I'm just feeling down at the moment, nothing going my way as usual.
How Ambitious Are You?
Four hundred years ago, Sir Walter Raleigh, British explorer extraordinaire, successful courtier and poet, fancied by Queen Elizabeth the 1st, suffered a crisis of conscience.
Is The Alphabet Dictating Your Success?
Our surnames or family names are often as individual as any birthmark or DNA imprint. Surnames, unlike other names, are essential hand-me-downs of the male lineage, in each case to deliberately identify, delineate and label (as distinct from everyone else), as well as to perpetuate and celebrate a particular tradition, tribe or clan.
The 4 Key Steps to Resolving Personal Issues
Imagine an everyday situation. You are at a party or reception, network or gathering, with your spouse or partner. Everything is going well for the first hour or so. But then, gradually, you begin to feel uncomfortable.
The True Meaning of Respect
There is one thing we seek every day without fail in our lives and that is RESPECT because it is tied up with our self-esteem and feeling of value. We talk about it a lot, we yearn for it, we expect it automatically and we notice when we haven't been given it by others.
Are Your Values Blocking Your Success?
With a change in my circumstances and recent problems in my life, I have been trying to define success and what it really means to each of us and I think I have worked out its foundations.
What Do You REALLY Want? 5 Magical Ingredients For Getting It
Do you find it easy to know what you want and express it clearly? If not, what is holding you back? Whether we pay homage to God, Nature, the Universe or whatever, there comes a time when we seek help or intervention for something important to us, something that affects our innermost desires.
How Your VALUES Dictate Your Life
Two Interesting Conundrums for You: Read both questions first before seeing the answers which are at the end.
Where is the 'REAL' World?
How often have you heard the statement, "Welcome to the real world", especially from someone trying to change your view of life?
How Your EMOTIONAL HEALTH Affects the Quality of Your Life
Our society makes provisions for improving physical health and mental health, but the most important part of that wellbeing triangle, emotional health, is completely ignored. One is usually expected to cope with with a relationship breakdown - an essential aspect of our lives - at any time, while carrying on with our work as if nothing has happened.
The True Value of Interacting With Others
Back in my other life of ignorance and low awareness, someone would pay me a compliment and I would feel terribly embarrassed about it; as though I did not deserve it. They might say how wonderful I looked in that smashing dress, etc.
The Importance of Interpersonal Skills
A relative once confided rather gloomily that he had been to a party which was not very enjoyable because hardly anyone spoke to him. Lacking the necessary interpersonal skills, he clammed up like a frightened crab, hugged one section of the room and hoped someone else would make the first move. No one did and he was the loser
Do You Have SAVI? The Answer Could Change Your Life
The idea for the SAVI self-enrichment concept came to me while I was trying to work out what motivated people; why some of us would do certain things but not others; why extraordinary people feel the sky is their limit while ordinary mortals prefer to see the gloomy side of life or to just do the minimum;
How to Develop Good Interpersonal Skills
Developing good interpersonal skills socially and at work begins with looking outwards; being very generous with praise and having a genuine desire to listen and encourage at every opportunity. Too many people are only interested in hearing their own voices, or putting their colleagues down.
How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends
It is always a difficult process making new friends and bridging that interactive gap, especially for people seeking new dates and partners. But wishing, hoping and dreaming about finding our ideal partner, without any form of strategy will lead nowhere.

Confidence & Self-Esteem (11)

Are You Trapped in The Past And Killing Your Confidence?
We kill our confidence if we dwell negatively on the past by constantly dredging up painful memories or bottling up hurtful feelings.
Achievement- The Second Pillar of Confidence
Achievement takes many forms. It can be the simplest act of getting through a load of ironing which has been hanging around for some time; doing that first set of exercises for a fitter body; losing the first crucial pound of weight;
The First Pillar of Confidence: Belonging
A sense of belonging is the most crucial element in the confidence triangle. Try as we might, we cannot function without others as we are social beings.
How Do I Develop Self Love?
Q. How do I develop self-love? Sometimes I really hate myself and can't see any way to change my feelings.
Why Confidence Cannot be Faked
Confidence is one of those things we know greatly influence the extent of our happiness and success, but which seldom seems to come our way, no matter how hard we seek it, especially in interacting with others.
The Definition of Confidence
Self-confidence is essentially an attitude which allows us to have a positive and realistic perception of ourselves and our abilities.
How Can I Stop Worrying?
Q. "Elaine, how can I stop worrying? I wish I could put fears I have about my boyfriend cheating out of my mind. I feel I'm not good enough for him and I know there are a few women who like him..."
What is Happiness?
I once told a fellow whom I loved that his love for me was the icing on the cake, but the love for myself was the cake itself! I was supremely happy with me as I was, and any other attention, though most welcomed, I regarded mainly as a bonus, not the main course.
Confidence Killer(2): The Search for Perfection
If we knew that today would be the very last day for us, we would pull out all the stops to do the things we have longed for and hadn't done, or to remedy a personal wrong.
The Story of a Smile
We might not know it but a smile is the greatest asset we have. When we smile, it not only lights up our faces and spread good feeling, we also give permission for someone shy to smile too, to approach us, to feel good in their actions and to feel worthy.
The First Pillar of Confidence: ACHIEVEMENT
Personal growth comes through a willingness to accept change, to take risks and to create opportunities. On many occasions it is sheer confidence and bravado which bring in the goodies.

Dating (11)

3 Deadly Sins That Prevent Us Finding Soulmates (Part 1)
My advert was quite clear: I wanted "a slim, non-smoker and single man, preferably under 200 lbs in weight". I weigh 138 lbs so allowing up to an extra 62 lbs in a partner (over 4 stones) was pretty generous, I thought. How many men would look at a 200 lbs woman? Not many, I'm sure!
3 Deadly Sins Which Prevent Us Finding Soulmates (Part 2)
Common courtesy seems to be escaping many people, women in particular, in responding to approaches. Many professional and articulate women are registered on websites, or they deliberately go to pubs and clubs, to SEEK partners
Why Falling in Love is Not so Easy
What are the ingredients that make the ultimate romantic experience possible? What are some folks missing which prevent them from actually reaching that highly-desired goal at any time in their lives?
Could You Date Someone Ugly?
Q. Can you date someone regardless of how their facial or body appearance is? Does beauty have to be on the outside as well as the inside?
The Love of My Life
I have fallen deeply in love three times during my life so far and they were all intense affairs that ended with unresolved feelings. The first time was with my ex-husband. It lasted 33 years and was a rollercoaster of incredible proportions....
10 easy steps to...Finding Your Ideal Soulmate! (Book)
Inspired by a passionate love afffair between the author and a former love, the latest easy-reading, pocket-size reference guide is the first of its kind to provide the 10 definitive steps in getting you the RIGHT person you seek and keeping them too. With CONTENT chapters and EXCERPTS.
Why Friendship and Dating do Not go Together
How often do we hear the statement from single people looking for new dates: "I'm seeking friendship first" because they like to get to 'know' the person before delving into anything more intimate.
Why You Should Date Soon After Being Dumped
People have to date after being dumped because that is a natural part of life: dealing with both pain and pleasure. Our life does not consist of single events or just the nice, enjoyable moments.
The Essential Art of Good Conversation
A man at a club once said that he didn’t ask me to dance because he feared rejection. But he lost the possibility of acceptance too by doing nothing!
Myths About Internet Dating
There is a myth that Internet dating is primarily for weirdos, losers or frustrated housewives. But the Internet is likely to be the the ultimate dating vehicle of the future.
The Essence of Love and Relationships
True love not only has the ideal elements of affection and sex, it also carries the responsibility of caring, sharing and commitment to a partner. Many people are in love with the 'ideal' of love, the sexual part, but shy away from the responsibility of love, which is why many relationships fail very early.

Relationships & Interaction (11)

How Do I make My Man Love me?
Dear Elaine, I just can't get loved by my loved one and that realisation is keeping me frozen... I do feel like the person I am, which is not much.
The 4 Main Reasons Partners Are Unfaithful
According to a recent survey in the UK, more than 55% of people are unfaithful to their partners. The rise of the mobile phone, Internet dating sites/chat rooms and greater work freedom for both men and women, ensure that it is far easier to have an affair
Money, Sex & Compromise (Book)
The average marriage in Britain now lasts just 8 years; in the USA it is 4 years, and falling. Something is not quite right with relationships when the rate of divorce is competing with that of marriages for equal parity.
How Should I React if I Catch My Boyfriend Cheating?
Q.I have just found out that my boyfriend (now ex!) has been cheating on me with a friend. This bastard, who wasted a year of my life, has agreed to finish it. I am so upset I have asked all my friends to diss him.
The Single Biggest Killer of Relationships
So you see the man/woman you fancy across the room at a party. You edge nervously towards him/her, wanting to make that crucial impression. You finally make the connection between you and you feel really happy. You punch the air with joy.
Why Keeping Promises Are Very Important
David made a promise to Sushma whom he had met a couple times and fancied. He would ring her as soon as he got in from work that day, he said. She waited eagerly for his call because they were just getting to know each other and she was keen to have contact.
4 Key Reasons for Relationships
I found a wonderful person on the internet 5 years ago, but we went our separate ways after the most heavenly two year relationship.
The Gift of Interaction
Back in my other life of ignorance and low awareness, someone would pay me a compliment and I would feel terribly embarrassed about it; as though I did not deserve it.
How Do I Handle Rejection?
Q. "Lately I've just been depressed and the thought of suicide is something that comforts me instead of scaring me. All these thoughts have happened cos me and my girlfriend split up (she dumped me).
The Silent Destroyer in Relationships
Two people become attached. That is accepted. People change from infancy to adulthood. That is also accepted. When two people come together in marriage or a relationship they will change over time during that relationship and, depending on their perception and aspirations, the change could be dramatic.
How do I Get My Girlfriend to Respect Me?
Q. My girlfriend doesn't think she "disses" me but I can't get her to understand what respect is. She thinks of it as courtesy. When we are together, we do the things she wants to do even though I have told her plenty of times about this.

Ageing Issues (9)

Step 1 in Enjoying a Disgraceful Life - Love Yourself!
You cannot grow older disgracefully if you have no confidence to do so, and confidence comes from self-love and high self-esteem. Nothing else. How many of us cannot bear to see ourselves in a mirror, cannot stand to hear our voices coming back at us, or cannot bear to see ourselves in a photo or on a video?
AGEISM: The BIG Confidence Killer
Thanks to Nancy Pelosi, I now understand much more about the American political system than I ever did before. I used to wonder about all the strange sounding titles given to politicians on Capitol Hill
The Top 5 keys to a Longer Life
It is now official. Recent research has discovered the single most important thing which definitely adds years to our life and it is not what you might readily believe. It is a little surprising, in fac
Understanding the Causes of Ageing
For me, there are three main causes of ageing. First and most important is the brainwashing people have from society and the media around the ageing process. As soon as we are born, we soon learn about the negative things we can expect from being older, because of society's fear around ageing.
Additional Secrets to Aging Gracefully (CareFair.com)
Who doesn’t want to look good after middle age and beyond? Since the beginning of time, people have been searching for the fountain of youth or anything that will come close to delaying the aging process.
The Key to Ageing Disgracefully
You cannot grow older disgracefully if you have no confidence to do so, and confidence comes from self-love and high self-esteem. Nothing else. How many of us cannot bear to see ourselves in a mirror, cannot stand to hear our voices coming back at us, or cannot bear to see ourselves in a photo or on a video?
Five Hidden Sexual Problems Between Older Couples
A. Communication. The most common problem between couples is a lack of communication about sexual needs, desires and feelings. Men tend to be very thin-skinned about any perceived criticism of their approach or performance, while women tend to be embarrassed talking about it or revealing their true feelings
10 easy steps to...Growing Older Disgracefully! (Book)
This book is about the complete acceptance that your life is a journey and you are still travelling, not coming to a stop just because you have retired or have reached a certain age. With quotes and EXCERPTS, including one about Elaine's X Factor experience!
What do over 50s REALLY want? (The Mature Times)
As part of the government's celebration of UK Older People's Day this October, they published what they considered to be the "ultimate wish list of 60 goals for the over 50s" - based on feedback from more than a thousand people over 50.

General Topics (3)

The Curse of the Musical Legends
Among my friends on MySpace are four of Bob Marley's children, one son for John Lennon and one daughter of Nat King Cole.
A RESPECT tribute to LUCKY DUBE
Take a look back to the last 3 months and, in that time, going by the annual figures, around 5000 people would have lost their lives in South Africa to attacks and murder.

The 73 articles listed below for easy reference are all on the site. Just click on any title and it will take you to the topic section. The LATEST ARTICLES are placed at the top of each category.Except where stated, all the articles are written by ELAINE SIHERA.

SUBSCRIBE to our services and get BRAND NEW articles each month.