LOVE QUIZ(1):
How Well do you MATCH?
If you're NOT really matched, it's time to get 10 easy steps to...Finding Your Ideal Soulmate! from PAYPAL at the special price of £5.99! plus postage. You have nothing to lose but your fears! See below for content details.
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LOVE Compatibility Quiz(1)
Please READ the explanations of all 4 elements at the end of the quiz before completing the quiz to understand what the terms contain.
PART 1:
How do you match up with your new date or existing partner?
Part 1 - YOU: For each statement, select a reply that DEFINITELY applies to how much YOU currently GIVE to your date/partner.
QUIZ - PART 1A:
How does your DATE/PARTNER match up with you?
For each statement, select a reply that you believe DEFINITELY applies to how much YOU currently GET from your date/partner.
As far as my date/partner is concerned:
The ideal position is to have similar scores for the both of you, especially if the other person does it themself too from THEIR perception, not yours. One person cannot make a relationship so you both MUST score in the same range for the key to apply.
29-36: EXCELLENT match, and if you BOTH have the same priority elements, that's a match made in heaven. GO FOR IT! If you are already in a relationship, you have a lot to be thankful for. It really doesn't get any better.
21-28: A SOLID relationship with some weak areas which will need careful attention, if you are willing to take a chance on each other. However, if you do not match up on the priority elements, it has less chance of success.
13-20: NOT MUCH HERE. There might be a remote possibility of success. But if you both disagree on the priority elements as well, it has not a hope in hell of developing into anything worthwhile.
6-12 Is this a relationship? If you just started dating, don't bother wasting your time!
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The Essence of Love & Relationships
True love not only has the ideal elements of affection and sex, it also carries the responsibility of caring, sharing and commitment to a partner. Many people are in love with the 'ideal' of love, the sexual part, but shy away from the responsibility of love, which is why many relationships fail very early. These essential elements form our core values and when those values differ in strength or priority between a couple, there is not much left to keep them together.
The four key areas of a relationsip are:
AFFECTION: This contains the physical love element, the ideal of being in love (attraction, chemistry, hugs, being tactile, sexual, passionate, having humour and closeness). Very few relationships can survive without this and many of them break due to a mismatch in this element. Some people might wish for Commitment first and do not care too much about the physicality because they value companionship more. Setting up home with someone who puts Affection first would thus be near torture for both of them. This might explain why there are a lot of unhappy older people currently in dry, loveless relationships and not sure what to do about it!
CARING: This element is the first part of the 'responsibility of love. It contains valuing the partner highly, treating them as special, automatic respect, genuine concern for their welfare and health and wanting the best for them. It also includes looking after that person's interest and encouraging them in their endeavours through regular affirmation. Caring represents the emotional connection between the couple, the warmth, mutual acceptance, reinforcement, reciprocity and support necessary if the physical part is to work. People low in esteem and interaction skills tend to lack this element as the focus is mainly on them, their objectives and their own needs.
SHARING: This includes a desire to share everything in the relationship as much as possible: communication, leisure, household tasks, money, care of children and other important aspects of the home or relationship. A desire to be completely unselfish, reciprocal and inclusive with your partner. There is much generosity and positivity. However, there is very little sharing if your partner leaves you to do ALL the household chores, even though you both work. A lack of sharing comes through insensitivity and fear, especially from those who lack self love and find it hard to give. They tend to take instead and find a lot of faults before any appreciation or praise.
COMMITMENT: At the heart of love is Commitment, even for a day. When we love, we commit immediately to progressing the relationship and building on it in some way. If we fear Commitment there is no genuine love, honesty or trust, and some might even be using that person for their own ends. Real love suggests "I value you enough to consider the potential of this relationship". If it doesn't work, so be it, but if it has no kind of Commitment in the first place, through fear or negativity, that's a short relationship for both parties. Do notice that, ideally, Commitment comes last in the love quartet. If you have genuine affection, caring and sharing, the commitment will certainly follow instead of expecting commitment first when the other elements are not fully in place.
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Elaine specialises in answering questions relating to DATING, RELATIONSHIPS, CONFIDENCE and SELF-ESTEEM, DIVERSITY, CAREERS, AGEING.
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GET YOUR COPY TODAY!
If you're NOT really matched, it's time to get 10 easy steps to...Finding Your Ideal Soulmate! from PAYPAL at the special price of £5.99! plus postage.
You have nothing to lose but your fears!
CONTENTS & EXCERPTS
Book Description
Inspired by a passionate love afffair between the author and a former love, the latest easy-reading, pocket-size reference guide is the first of its kind to provide the 10 definitive steps in getting you the RIGHT person you seek and keeping them too. With the aid of the self-assessment exercises, you will learn at least 10 things you may not be doing yet to have the relationship of a lifetime!
INTRODUCTION: Reasons For Soulmates
1. "Every time we search for a partner we might think that only someone permanent is likely to come into our life. So we keep looking for the ‘perfect’ one to share it. But it is my belief that soulmates come into our life for four main reasons, three of them temporary and only one permanent: They come in to:
a. Teach us something significant.
b. Lead us out of a stressful or crisis situation.
c. Enhance our feelings of worth and boost our wellbeing for the next stage.
d. Be the BIG ONE – the ideal soulmate we seek.
Most hurt that comes in relationships arises from the wrong expectations around partners because we like to see every date as leading to potential permanence (Reason d). We burden each new relationship with our need for long-term security only to find that it was not as permanent as we hoped. We then miss the message we were given by belittling or negating the experience. But any relationship always prepares us for dealing more competently with the next one. It’s our ego, failed expectations and acute disappointment which prevent us from appreciating what we learnt while encouraging us to vilify our partners instead."
Purpose of the Book
10 EASY STEPS TO....FINDING YOUR IDEAL SOULMATE! is meant for people (perhaps over 24 years old) who:
* are seriously looking to settle down with someone or desiring a significant partnership;
* are in the first phase of their new courtship, who have had only a few dates;
* haven’t even met their next date yet!
* are struggling with a current relationship.
10 EASY STEPS TO....FINDING YOUR IDEAL SOULMATE! should help them be more prepared. It can also be used by people already in relationships to find out which of the 10 Steps is missing or why their relationship is failing. Like a checklist, it will reveal the gaps and blockages. But that’s the easy part. Harder still will be taking the necessary actions to remedy them.
"10 EASY STEPS TO....FINDING YOUR IDEAL SOULMATE! will provide some key answers to pressing questions for both single and attached people. It is designed to help you discover real happiness. Not the wishful, fleeting type – all excitement but no substance, and soon gone in a haze of shattered dreams – but a true long-lasting friendship with that special person who enhances your life, affirms who you are, loves you to bits, reinforces what you seek and helps you to grow together as a winning team."
Best of all, these 10 EASY STEPS TO....FINDING YOUR IDEAL SOULMATE!can be applied to any aspect of your life – spiritual, career, home or social – to make it even more successful and fulfilling. In short, you will feel much more confident, motivated and empowered in your life and relationships!
10 EASY STEPS TO....FINDING YOUR IDEAL SOULMATE! will answer the following questions and much more...
* What are the FIVE MAGICAL INGREDIENTS for successfully finding that partner?
* What is CHEMISTRY and how can YOU find it?
* What really makes people ATTRACTED to one another?
* What is your strongest ASSET when you are trying to date someone?
* Which TWO WORDS are the foundation for all relationships?
* What is guaranted to kill a relationship quicker than you can say, "Can we have a date?"
* What ONE WORD guarantees the success of your relationship?
* Which THREE LITTLE WORDS might be missing from your relationship?
(It's not necessarily the popular ones you might think!)
OTHER EXCERPTS
2. ".....next time when you go looking for a soulmate, if you believe she is too fat or too thin, too common or too posh, leave her alone. Don’t try to change her to fit your ideal unless she initiates the change through her own education and awareness. Anything else will only work for the brief time that she is trying to impress you. She will go on all sorts of weight reduction/improvement diets and even take elocution lessons because the excitement of the new relationship will encourage her to do anything for you. However, soon after you have settled down and she feels secure, the weight will be back on, or she will still be swearing like a trouper, because you did not change her belief system in the first place and she certainly did not change for herself."
3. "We also hear the usual cliché of ‘opposites attract’, but they don’t, in fact. No research has reliably shown that opposites really attract. Instead, most research has shown that people like best those who are most like themselves. Certain obvious elements like skin colour and religion might differ, but partners who are significantly opposed in belief, perception and behaviour would find little point of contact or agreement, which would make for a frustrating, stressful and insecure situation."
4. "Physical attraction is not just about looks, body form, shape, hair and eyes. It also incorporates material things (such as money, possessions, status, success), the lifestyle enjoyed and the level of personal creativity. These all combine to create the perfect, attractive physical package. This part of the attraction process is very powerful because no matter how we might search for the ‘inner beauty’ of a person, we are drawn by their outer looks first! That is Nature’s deliberate way of getting us together. That is all we can see before establishing anything else about that person.
So don’t believe anyone who says they ‘don’t care about looks but what’s inside’. That’s sheer nonsense. In that case, they might as well go with a chimp or a horse because it is what’s inside that matters! We cannot see anyone 'inside' before we see their physicality! The reason why they say that is because they perhaps have low self-esteem (shyness or non-affirmation), not valuing their own looks or self, and so they devalue others too, while hoping that people won’t notice their looks either."
5. "Once I met a really pleasant man (I thought) with fantastic chemistry between us. I was really excited at the possibilities for us until he broke FIVE promises in the first four days: two relating to phoning me and didn’t, the other three regarding his help with simple things which mattered to me which he never gave. I let him go, reluctantly, soon afterwards because he was violating my top value of being treated with respect. Would you break off what seemed like a ‘great’ relationship for the sake of broken promises? Especially seemingly trivial ones? Perhaps you wouldn’t, but I would – anytime. If it starts with broken promises it really does not get any better. It is all about respect and the priority you are given, as well as the trust you have in that person to keep their word. Furthermore, if a person starts by reneging on the little things, the big things are not far behind."
6. "Commitment to life means seizing the opportunities which come your way. When you find a soulmate, it is not for you to ask how long, to dwell on when there will be a break up or to wonder whether the person will be in your life forever or for now. The only thing you are required to do at that first moment of realisation is to give thanks that someone wonderful has come into your life. Just sit back and enjoy the ride without questioning its credibility or longevity. Allow it to unfold around you in an exciting and surprising way. You would be amazed at what is possible. It is our desire to control everything in our lives which make us fret and worry about the outcome of any new connection. We burden it with all our expectations and then wonder why it collapses under the strain of our fears and worries."
Described as 'an absolutely gorgeous little book' by many readers, 10 EASY STEPS TO....FINDING YOUR IDEAL SOULMATE! will have you hooked from the very first page. SECURE YOUR COPY NOW!
Love Match Quiz(2)
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